I'm sick!

I've been infected with infatuation.
I've been drenched by fantasies and daydreams.
I see the beauty in everything.
I feel the pain of everyone.
The fever causes my cheeks to blush.
The lack of nutrition causes my hands to shake.
The cure is out of reach so my mind keeps on spitting words that my lips can't form.
I've been infected with infatuation.

Get enough

Words don't cover it.
Nobody sings about it.
Crying over it is shameful.
It hurts like any other cut.
Anger adopts it.
Fear confirms it.
You can't keep it nor can you get rid of it.

When disappointment strikes there's nothing you can say about it, you can't even find a song to say it for you.
Don't you dare cry over getting disappointed, you should be ashamed, since you're the one who created it; with all your foolish expectations.
Why are you mad about being hurt? It is just as bad as you feared it would be and there's nothing you can do to get rid of it, disappointment is like an infection and the only pill you can take against it is the one called: enough.

Get enough.

Second guessing

I keep on second guessing myself. Wondering, pondering, asking where did I lose track?
If I'm in lead, how the hell did I miss out on the truth.
Who am I to create a fiction built upon nothing else than perception.
Perceptions based on wishful thinking.
I keep on second guessing myself, screamingly questioning why I didn't leave it when I thought it was left.
I keep on second guessing, madly asking why the truth isn't a solution, is there even one?

To be able to second guess one must be aware of another option, an option I failed to comprehend.

So I keep on second guessing.

Incomparable

When you wish you could take something back it's often because you did the right thing but you didn't get what you wanted.
You can't.
No one can.
Always getting what you want would twist the universe, spin the energy, toss the natures laws around and leave you upside down.

Still the longing for time traveling remains and all you can do is wait for it to be forgotten.
But you know.
Everybody knows.
Nobody forgets.
Everyone remembers.

The longing gets suffocating, the burden gets to heavy for anyone to carry and the wishing gets to loud for anyone to even listen.

Incomparable.

Black heart

I had set the wind on fire, I couldn't stand it carrying your name.
I cried in shame as I watched the ashes travel into the deepest oceans that I had poisoned, I couldn't stand the intimacy you shared with water. 
I planted sorrow into the soil, buried it deep and weeped as I watched everything wither, all because you relied on its crops.
As I fell apart and faded away with the world I had destroyed, I realized that I was the one that had you now and yet there was nothing left. 
I had killed us both.

There's no one.

I've made mistakes with a clear mind just to learn what I already knew.
I've chased after the unknown just to find what I never wanted nor needed.
I've lied to myself even though I could read the truth every time I looked in the mirror.
I've put up stop signs with the knowledge of not wanting to just for the sake of it.
I've ignored the only sanity I had because I let fear conquer.
I've let fear conquer with a clear mind, let it lead me to what I didn't want nor needed, even though I could se the truth in the mirror, just for the sake of it.

There's no one.

I blame me.

Gaze

Blast me up into space,
leave me in the void.
Drown me in the bluest water,
leave me on the bottom.
Throw me out of a plane,
leave me helpless amongst clouds.
Still nothing compares to the prison of your gaze.